When I hurt those who love me most: thoughts

I just wanted to share on something that I have recently reflected on:

"Believing the worst of those close to us" this has happened to me; seeing someone assume the worst motives about me; and then knowing how wrong they are...the disappointment (or anger!).

Well I too have done it; I have assumed that someone close to me hurt my feelings because 1.) perhaps they just felt it suited them to do that or 2.) its important for them to be right in a discussion or 3.) could be anything.

I was reflecting on loving your neighbour and reading through 1 Corinthians 13:7 - "Love hopes ALL things"

What does that mean in the context of assuming the worst of the next person?

Well; how would it be if my automatic assumption about another person's intentions were positive? (Would I appear to be the fool?) Isn't that what I wish people would do; believe in my best intentions?

It is those that we're closest to who disappoint us the most; or those that we care about that hurt us the most. We expect so much and forget that they are human too...with faults like we do. What does "Love endures ALL things" mean?

As I was reflecting on a few things I can remember in my life and in the stories shared with by other people; we get worked up and hurt and do ourselves and our bodies harm. How about being a fool for love? After-all God has instructed us to love in that way? Is it really foolish?

How different would your friendships; marriages; relationships etc be; if you assumed the positive motivations in all statements, acts and all those things that trigger our tempers and tears?

My prayer today is that whoever is moved by this; pray this prayer that has helped me in this:

Exodus 14:14 - "The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay CALM!" NLT

Ask the Lord to help you in giving you a calm spirit and let Him who is all discerning, fight for you as He has promised.

Because not all my dreams go to the wind :-)

I have said before that I am a dreamer, my heads in the clouds but my feet are still firm on the ground.

This week I took a leap and made progress on a major dream I've had for a long time. I realised through self-coaching that I was holding myself back with all sorts of reasons why I couldn't do this!

So I've taken that first giant leap, and will see where this leads (there's a plan in place, but room for being creative Bout it!)

So just incase you thought all my dreams go to the wind...watch this space and while watching; visit the "dream" as it unfolds www.elonanh.zenfolio.com

I'll appreciate your feedback.

Thoughts on letting go of a dream......

I am a dreamer; that is who I am. I think of an idea, visualise it; get excited; communicate it and get disappointed if the receiver isn't as excited :-( that is a weakness I have observed. I have learnt that not everyone dreams the same dreams as I do, not everyone has the same goals as I do; not everyone loves the same things as I do. And that's OK. What happens if this dream can only be realised together with someone else? When you need to get someone else's buy in, get them as excited as you are? I had a picture of my dream being like a dandelion and I was blowing it on a windy day:

As I  was reflecting on this in August, I wrote this poem:

Giving my dream to the wind...

That dream of yesteryear

That comes back each year

That beautiful idea, concept, 

That makes you smile from the heart

What happens when you try and live it?

Why is it hard to live it?

Is it best lived in my heart?

And in my mind?

Does its beauty cease when shared?

    What do I do with the yearning;

     to live and fulfil it?

    For how long does one suppress and concede?

    It seems I have done it again....

....I have put my heart into my dreams,

....I have brought my dreams into reality

....I have exposed my dream to scrutiny

oooh well! 

Written 22082012

yearning for a greater height

I wrote this poem from a spiritual perspective, how there's certain things that really get in the way of my Spiritual walk, and cutting that rope is the only way. Like a hiker who has too much tied on them as they climb higher (that is the picture I had.) When you consider your life, what things would benefit you more after the rope has been cut?

I yearn for a greater height…

You have me looking at my old ways

I’m trying to grow daily

I’m trying to move on

…But the thought of you takes me back

To ways I don’t want to go back to

I had no choice but to let the rope go;

So I can climb higher,

If I held on, we would have both fallen…

…So here I am, climbing higher up,

Closer to the goal

Further from the past

10 November 2012

Thoughts on self image

I thought of this as I saw this branch of berries…

You get the same nutrients from the stem,

Same amount of sun,

You are at different stages of ripening.

One is ready,

One is nearing,

One is still green.

You will find this as you grow;

Some will be ripe,

And you may be nearing.

Some will be green,

And you may be a seedling.

As time goes on;

Some will be rotting,

And you will be blossoming.

Some will be waste,

And you will be at your best.

Fret not about the ripening of others,

Fret not about the blossoming of others,

Fret not about the flourishing of others…

….Your day is nearing,

You were a seedling,

Then you were a green berry,

Then you slowly changed colours, until you were saturated black berry.

And so the journey goes….

  © Elona N.H. 

14 October 2012

2245hrs

The Greatest of these is Love!!

In August, I got to attend Larnelle Harris' concert in London. I had never heard him sing as a soloist; and this song I found very deep and true. I just wanted to share the words of the song!  

The Greatest Of These 

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels

But have not love

I am only a resounding gong or clanging cymbal

And if I have the gift of prophesy

And can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge

And if I have a faith that can move the mountains

But have not love

I am nothing

If I give all I possess to the poor

And surrender my body to the flames

But have not love

I gain nothing

Love is patient

Love is kind

It does not envy

Does not boast

It is not proud

It is not rude

It is not self-seeking

It is not easily angered

It keeps no record of wrongs

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres

Love never fails

But where there are prophecies they will cease

Where there are tongues they will be stilled

Where there is knowledge it will pass away

For we know in part and we prophesy in part

But when perfection comes the imperfect disappears

When I was a child I talked like a child

I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child

When I became a man I put my childish ways behind me

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror

Then we shall see face to face

Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known

And now these three remain

Faith, hope, and love

But the greatest of these is love

The greatest of these is love

The 'bliss' of ignorance>>>

Two nights ago while driving home something happened that got me thinking; the traffic light was red, I just waited behind the car that was in front of me. Then I heard a high pitched noise and wondered what that was; turns out I was parked on a  yellow island, and the high pitched noise was the TRAM! I was blocking the tram! Luckily there was a bit of space in front of me and it was able to cut across our road and continue merrily on its way!

Here's a picture of the TRAM borrowed from this  site, its called the LUAS here and its tracks often cross the roads:

It got me thinking about something I've read in the Bible before; Sinning in ignorance.

How many times have we parked on yellow islands in our lives? But like that Tram driver, God gives us enlightenment and it is key what we do, once we realise that we have sinned. My parking on the yellow Island in ignorance didnt mean that it was allowed to park there; once I was aware, I should then stick to the road rules, now our Christian walk is not as simple as Road rules, but what I find of most comfort is that, it is God who gives enlightenment and forgiveness too!

1 Timothy 1:13-15

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹³ although I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man; but I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. ¹⁴ And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. ¹⁵ This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.

Hebrews 5:1-3

New King James Version (NKJV)

5 For every high priest taken from among men is appointed for men in things pertaining to God, that he may offer both gifts and sacrifices for sins. ² He can have compassion on those who are ignorant and going astray, since he himself is also subject to weakness. ³ Because of this he is required as for the people, so also for himself, to offer sacrifices for sins.

Acts 3:17-19

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁷ “Yet now, brethren, I know that you did it in ignorance, as did also your rulers. ¹⁸ But those things which God foretold by the mouth of all His prophets, that the Christ would suffer, He has thus fulfilled. ¹⁹ Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord,

Acts 17:30-31

New King James Version (NKJV)

³⁰ Truly, these times of ignorance God overlooked, but now commands all men everywhere to repent,³¹ because He has appointed a day on which He will judge the world in righteousness by the Man whom He has ordained. He has given assurance of this to all by raising Him from the dead.”

Let's remember to pray for sins committed in ignorance, because we don't know who we have hurt without realising. 

The number 100

SO I was searching through my emails for something, and found that I have 100 (yes a hundred) emails from a sister in Christ that I used to spend a lot of time with, laughing, praying, and sometimes crying about all things under the sky. The number 100 seems so rounded and so final, it gives me peace for that unreplied email, perhaps it was meant to be, it was meant to remain at a round number - 100.

Today I wanted to talk about the more than 100 times in life where I've had the privilege to be a Blessing and Be Blessed by others. God planned my healing from all this, since I came to Dublin, He has not even once given me the opportunity to play the roles I played back in Cape Town, I have been the helped, served, the list goes on and I have learnt a lot more about the Grace and Healing power of God and His love overflowing: (not sure why but this image came to mind)

Like a poem I read today, some are like tree leaves, fickle and blown away easily, some are like branches, slightly stronger than leaves but will break when there's too much weight on them, then there's roots that are built to hold you up and support you!! 

I am thankful for all the roots in my tree of life today :) I am experiencing joy of life, even as I look at past hurts, I think this is what it means to "count it all JOY"

Can you imagine being like the autumn leaves in someone's life? At least branches don't fall off in autumn, the roots in the tree below must be so big, it's branches could carry lots of weight too! 

The same tree, across the path

I love this pic, I decided to post it again

There's something about desaturating the colour from an image that appeals to me lately! In contrast I'm a firm believer that things are not always black or white, there's colours in between...I guess those colours are grey?

Anyway, just wanted to share this picture again, that's made it to my portfolio :) which is growing slowly.

We're getting to winter months where I wont have bright flowers to take pictures of, I best get used to the grey, black and white :)

The joy of my life

I just thought I should write about the joy of my life - my family :-)

Often I find myself focusing on the never ending laundry, toys, tidying up, cooking, dish washing and the list goes on. But today I came home to a clean house after dropping the kids at school, hubby had gone to work, I had no school work to do...and guess what? I missed a bit of noise in the background, I missed being 'disturbed' with an 'important' question every five minutes. I started to look at the time; looking forward to fetching them at school and guess what? They were too tired to do what I had in mind :(

Anyway, I was also thinking about that we really need to treasure these years while they are still young and at home, there will come a time where the time away from home is not just 3hours every weekday but longer!

Again I'll quote Psalm 90:12 because it really is about numbering our days...

Another verse I read today was "Ecclesiastes 3:1, 6 - "For everything there is a season,, A right time to hold on and another to let go..." (MSG version)

I pray that when the time comes for my kids to move out of home, We will have a treasure of good memories and they will have a treasure of lessons from us.

Taste and See...

Sometimes we say we are 'ok' and accept the mediocre life, sometimes we get used to pain and it becomes normal. I have found that self-sufficiency and a quest for it, prevents me from experiencing the fullness of God’s kindness, and peace, and I’m constantly chasing my tail. There is a better option in God:

Taste and See that the Lord is good

Even though you may say; you are not thirsty

            I can see you haven’t had the Living water (John 4:13)

Even though you may say you are not hungry

            I can tell you haven’t had the Living bread (John 6:51)

Even though you may say you are at peace

            Have you heard of Peace perfect Peace? (Philippians 4:7)

Even though you may say you have friends,

            Have you met the Greatest Friend (John 15:13)

Even though you may say you have love

            Have you met the Greatest Love (1 John 4:8, John 3:16)

Taste and see the Lord is good, oh the JOYS of those that take refuge in Him (Psalm 34:8)

The power given to me....

I'm moved to share a poem I wrote recently, one morning when I realised God really gave me a priceless gift! 

Forgiveness

The power lies within me,

It has been given to me by God-

To seek forgiveness and to forgive others,

Why is it difficult? You see,

I have received this from God-

How do I give it to others?

The emotions raged within me

Day and night, pain resided in me

I thought about it,

I talked about it,

I prayed about it,

I wrote about it…

I waited for it,

I anticipated it,

I created opportunity for it,

But still I did not get it…

Why did I need it?

Why did I crave it?

What power was in it?

What was in this APOLOGY??

Until I remembered the GIFT,

The power God had given me

The ability to forgive, without it

The ability to let go, without it

The ability to move on, without it

The ability to free my life of hurt, without it

The possibility of removing that pain, without it

The absence of the tears, without it

For I realised that without it, I still had the power from God

I still had the ability to forgive, let go, live freely

I was still able to free myself of your poison.

For what power does your apology really have?

Without it, there is power in God to live joyfully!

Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you

30 and enlightened!!- We journey on

The hype and excitement I had two or three months before the day, started to decrease, I'm not sure why...I had a great time. Great reflections as well. 

I've cut out a few toxic people from my life, and I feel lighter, I've also decided to spend time on meaningful relationships instead of trying to be everywhere at the same time. These were not difficult decisions to make, I think that is the path God laid for me; some paths had to be cul de sacs leading to nowhere!!

I have been meditating on this verse: Psalm 90:12 " Lord, Teach us to number our days,
    that we may gain a heart of wisdom"

Numbering my days; that means- if I had 6 months to live, there's many things I would not be doing right not...question is why am I spending time on them now; why I am not doing those things that I'd do if I know my days were numbered. I truly dont know if i have less or more than 6months, so that is why my prayer is "Psalm 90:12 " Lord, Teach us to number our days,
    that we may gain a heart of wisdom"

This means there are changes that I need to seek God to help me with, this may be a scary process and I just need to remember:

Proverbs 29:25 (NLT) - Fearing people is a dangerous trap,
    but trusting the Lord means safety. 

Galatians 1:10 (NIV) Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people?If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ

Samuel 15:24 - I have sinned; I have indeed transgressed the command of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and listened to their voice.

Reflecting on God's calling for me to make changes in my life, I am focusing on my family, and for once in a long time, am ok with not trying to save the world! 

We journey on (my husband and I)

Father and daughter :)

My son :)

Mind mapping...

> I think – I sometimes over-think life....
> I know - that I am but one speck in the bigger scheme of things, but I can make a big difference
> I want – to leave a great legacy...
> I have – A great hope!
> I wish - that society didn't have to be full of pretenses to function smoothly
> I hate – I can see I'm being lied to by someone I respect
> I miss – the blissful state of ignorance I had in my childhood
> I fear - Failure
> I feel - all my emotions at the same time sometimes...
> I smell - nothing....
> I crave –for the joy of my childhood
> I search - for inner peace
> I regret – spending a lot of years being 'shy'
> I love – telling my story through poetry, photography, art

> I ache - for time spent alone sometimes!
> I long - to spend time with all the people I've ever met and loved all at the same time :)
> I care – for the world and the impact I'm going to have on it
> I always - think too much...
> I am not – fascinated by small details
> I dance - in my heart
> I sing – often almost daily
> I cry – when I feel totally defeated  or helpless
> I fight - when my values are insulted...
> I win – rarely...
> I never – take myself too seriously or too lightly
> I listen - to people when they speak about someone they love...(inspiring)
> I can usually be found – at home?!
> I need – to manage my time...(or accept that I cant?)
> I should – learn more about dealing with hurt feelings
> I am happy – when I take my camera for a walk
> I expect - to make myself proud one day (that would mean, I'm no longer hard on myself)

Out of the mould...

I feel like I have not lived up to expectations, disappointed a few by being myself...I have dared to make my voice be heard about my desires, and my individuality...and ooh how painful the results...am not sure which is better, to privately yearn for expression without disappointing you, or to express myself and become someone you don't like...Am I perhaps imprisoned by the need for your approval? Should I accept that its not coming, but its also not life giving? .....

The cold days in life...

I took this pic on a cold day at Brittas bay beach county Wicklow...it made me think about how lonely it is here when there's no sunshine, we were the only ones there on this day. I have found that when there's sunshine in my life, when I am happy, I have a lot of 'tourists'....few people will brave being with me when its cold and drizzly...this is to celebrate and appreciate them :)

I'm happy when I'm being creative

The past few days I've been working on photos for family friends, and I've thouroughly enjoyed doing it, gives me joy to experience joyful events and family being around each other happily. This is Joanna, it was her first communion, she's catholic and this is a big event in a child's life. It was awesome working on these images :)

I am truly happy when I'm creative :)

Will you love Jesus more...

I feel quite sure if I did my best

I could maybe impress you

With tender words and a harmony

A clever rhyme or two

But if all I've done in the time we've shared

Is turn your eyes on me

Then I've failed at what I've been called to do

There's someone else I want you to see

[CHORUS]

Will you love Jesus more

When we go our different ways

When this moment is a memory

Will you remember His face

Will you look back and realize

You sensed His love more than you did before

I'd pray for nothing less

Than for you to love Jesus more

I'd like to keep these memories

In frames of gold and silver

And reminisce a year from now

About the smiles we've shared

But above all else I hope you will come

To know the Father's love

When you see the Lord face to face

You'll hear Him say "well done"

[REPEAT CHORUS TWICE]

I'd pray for nothing less

Than for you to love Jesus more

Credits - this song is not by me, just sharing the beautiful Lyrics by Phillips, Craig & Dean

I wonder

I've been thinking about death; loss of loved ones and the possibility that my loved ones will also one day lose me. I often hear people speak about getting their affairs in order, to prepare for this, save enough money for your children, have trust funds, the list is endless, the religious say, make sure you're right with God before that happens...

I've been thinking about Job, with  all the calamity that he faced, he sometimes questioned God, sometimes wanted to quit..In my musings about the final destination on earth, I read Job Chapter 14 vs 1-5:

1

Mortals, born of woman, 
    are of few days and full of trouble. 
2 
They spring up like flowers and wither away; 
    like fleeting shadows, they do not endure. 
3 
Do you fix your eye on them? 
    Will you bring them^[a] before you for judgment? 
4 
Who can bring what is pure from the impure? 
    No one! 
5 
A person’s days are determined; 
    you have decreed the number of his months 
    and have set limits he cannot exceed.

Verse one and two describe the frailty of our lives, "they do not endure", the last verse...God knows our days and we cannot add any more hours or minutes to it. 

If I have no control whatsoever on my living, why is it that I am so convinced that I am "in charge" of my life, how am I so in charge of planning a schedule whose end I do not know?

This thought humbled me, and as I lay down to bed tonight I do not know if I will see tomorrow and all the things I have planned to do will come to fruition...

...I wonder, what if i did it all in reverse order, speak to God first, hear His plan, sit on the passenger seat, and let HIM drive this life, He knows the destination and how much more fuel we have?

I will share a song in my next post..for all those I will come across, this is my prayer...

Life as I know it at 29

The family member that was ill has since passed away and been buried, leaving behind a 6 month old baby girl :-(

I wonder about that baby girl's future, I wonder about her persepective on life, her values, her influence and her character. Will the influence be positive, negative, bitter, graceful, etc. Questions only time can answer...

Shy?

I've heard this said a couple of times this month and wondering if its a message to share. I was introduced to a group of ladies and one eagerly said 'tell us ALL about you!' I found that a bit daunting and said ' well i'm a bit shy, will share with time, as i get accustomed to you.' Someone else said how, she's done being shy, she was shy all her life and now she's done...she's catching up.

She said she realised that there was absolutely no value for her in retrospect.

I have been thinking and feeling the same way lately, that there's a reason I have a brain and an opinion...it adds value to conversations and interactions. I am not ALWAYS shy, but it is the curtain I hide behind at times.

So this is new developement for me...I've told myself to find five great (not good) reasons or benefits, of shyness by a certain time, or that word and mindset is going out the window. Life is just simpler when I'm upfront. I think I adopted 'shyness' as a gender and culturally acceptable characteristic.

There's gotta be a reason God designed us to see things our own way, He didnt intend for us to blend into the background...

Question posed...

So I asked this question on facebook and twitter:

Why do some friendships last forever and some only a season? When is it time to let a friend go and how?

This seems like a question which really depends on the situation, but probably one that a lot of women have had (perhaps men as well) but I think mostly women.

In essence I think what has worked is to realise when your give and take scale is tipping, yes you may be a giver (time, resources, support etc) but when that becomes a one way street...that friendship is not healthy, no matter how much joy you get from giving whatever to your friend, you are helping create and unbalanced friend scale (i just created a concept lol)

On a serious note, my opinion is that friendships are also God given, I have learnt in my almost thirty years of life (remember I have a friend I made when we were one?), I have learnt that God shields me from certain people. Sometimes God gives me just the spring in that relationship because He knows I cannot handle that person's autumn (stripping of leaves, and raging winds), perhaps I cant handle that person's winter as well, and the summer might be scorching. God then gives me the spring.

Sometimes he gives me that person's winter so I can water their 'garden'. It is all in God's hand, the key thing though in all of this is in this picture:

A song of encouragement

Today I feel low, someone dear to me is very sick and hasnt really been telling the family how bad it is, very sad to imagine the reasons behind it and how alone she must be feeling.  I realise that in this life, we cant know all the answers to 'why', 'how' etc. This song gave me comfort.

Tempted and tried, we’re oft made to wonder
Why it should be thus all the day long,
While there are others living about us,
Never molested, though in the wrong.

Refrain

Farther along we’ll know all about it,
Farther along we’ll understand why;
Cheer up my brother, live in the sunshine,
We’ll understand it all by and by.

When death has come and taken our loved ones,
It leaves our home so lonely and drear,
Then do we wonder why others prosper
Living so wicked year after year.

Refrain
Farther along we’ll know all about it,
Farther along we’ll understand why;
Cheer up my brother, live in the sunshine,
We’ll understand it all by and by.

Faithful til death, said our loving Master
A few more days to labor and wait,
Toils of the road will then seem as nothing
As we sweet through the beautiful gate.

Refrain
Farther along we’ll know all about it,
Farther along we’ll understand why;
Cheer up my brother, live in the sunshine,
We’ll understand it all by and by.

When we see Jesus, coming in glory,
When He comes from His home in the sky,
Then we shall meet Him in that bright mansion,
We’ll understand it all by and by.

Refrain
Farther along we’ll know all about it,
Farther along we’ll understand why;
Cheer up my brother, live in the sunshine,
We’ll understand it all by and by.

Words and lyrics by J.R. Baxter & W.B. Stevens

Sincerity

I drive the same route when I drop off my kids at school and have seen this about three times, today I am moved to share; I see a man walk out of his home, he is perhaps a husband and a father. He kisses goodbye a lady at the house, and looks back at her. When he gets to the gate, he waits at the gate and prays, today he seemed in a rush but he stopped at the gate and prayed, then he ran off towards the train.

I was inspired, when something is important to you, you MAKE time for it. This man makes time for his daily prayer even in the big rush in the morning....Do your actions show what is important to you? Do mine?

Childlike interactions

Being a mother of toddlers who just started in new schools, I've been worried about things like: will they fit in? will they make friends like the friends they left behind? etc.

My daughter (6) had a very good friend called Caitlin and they said they were best friends and I was quite worried about them parting, four days into our stay here in Dublin, she had a new best friend Joanna, who is our neighbour. At school she says everyone is her friend and she's happy there :)

My son (almost 4) was very withdrawn around strangers, so I was more worried about him starting school for the first time ever, well three days after starting there, he told me "mummy I like my new friends here", so I eagerly asked, what are their names and he said calmly, "I don't know." Yesterday, he brought home a slice of cake from a 'friend' and when we asked whose birthday was it, he said "my friend" and that was enough.

See, it doesn't look like friendships are complex from the early days of life...when does it become awkward to just call everyone your friend without being a weirdo...

Will I ever learn?

Why is it that my life seems to be the same stuff happening over and over again, just different people.

I read a book once, "The friends we keep" Sarah Davis, and i remember reading a part where a man had said the friendships seen on sex and the city were impossible in real life, because women were incapable to be real with each other in that manner...

I have a very good and wise friend, she is like my clone (from another race), we seem to go through very similar things, sometimes its a bit freaky...similar fears, illnesses, likes, dislikes etc. We've been friends for a while (7 years). I mentioned to her that I was feeling a bit down as another  friend just decided to attack me today, for being me, plain old me who will tell you what I think without wrapping it in pretty pink boxes with ribbons on (learning for me, I need to sugar coat!), perhaps I was over familiar? friendships are so complex, it can be draining!

 My clone friend, just said to me "i've been there...". I asked her jokingly, "will we ever master adult life?" married, two kids later, still can't understand the science of female friendships?

I mean there are those that last, one very dear from pre school (awesome and firm friendship) and others that have stood the test of time...wondering " Will I ever learn?"

Monday blues

So today is the beginning of term for my kids, not a very great start for mummy. I remembered this morning the thing I forgot to buy in preparing for back to school....only this morning! Juice for their lunch! Their daddy came to the rescue and went to buy some quickly, then I dropped my son first...(3 year old, new to the school routine) and it went well, he didn't cry for me! Drove round the corner to drop my daughter (6year old, enjoys school) off and dented my car as I entered her school :( Not a great start to the term, I'll now be so scared to drive into that gate!! Am now at home feeling guilty! So I didn't get mother's guilt at my son's school and I had to get a replacement! Anyway, I'll hopefully forgive myself soon...and move on. Today will be my first time going on the train (called a Luas) Dublin term, also will be walking about in town...going to buy textbooks for MY back to school!!